- Sotally tober!
- Saw a friend the other day across the road, called him on his mobile and said “Am looking at your profile”. “Which one? Facebook? LinkedIn? Orkut?”…”Nope, your side profile”… 🙂
- Some people have such terrible introduction to themselves, wish I had a ‘Skip intro’ option.
- Found an interesting way to beat the Bengaluru traffic. Tail behind an ambulance.
- When you shell out that kinda money for Evian water bottle next time, remember to read it backwards.
- Religious wars are basically people trying to kill each other over who has the better imaginary friend.
- The ayodhya plot thickens. People are insisting on Laxman temple instead of Ram temple now!
- It’s a lil scary when your wife suddenly calls you to take a term insurance. The plot thickens if she is working for an insurance company.
- Wayne Rooney and Alex Ferguson have changed their relationship status to ‘Its complicated’. Manchester City ‘like’ this.
- I should stop complaining often before FB decides to put “What’s your problem today?” on my status bar.
- CNN News: “Kidnapped couple to release DVD of Somali terror”…Think I’ll wait for the pirate copy.
- Julian Assange is a hypocrite. Why didn’t he expose his hiding place before he was arrested?
- Guy Fieri attempted to commit suicide in a minute after watching Gaurav.
- Due to lack in internet connectivity, Egypt is officially now just Gypt.
- hey hey hey! Now this is getting personal. I do have a life outside facebook, but I just can’t remember the password for it.
- Have you noticed, the most popular reply to “Say cheese” these days is “Don’t you dare put this up on Facebook”?
- Damn I wish I had subtitles in my life. There are some dumb heads who just won’t get it. Would be simple to add this as a subtitle for them time and again “Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.”
- C sharp. Enter pub. B flat…music to my ears!
- Iron Man came to my door and knocked. I jumped out of my seat, carefully opened the door. He hands over a packet…”Sir, 44 Rupees”!
- Preparing a memo to our employees – Due to recession, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
- It’s only been 2 weeks with my jigsaw puzzle. Think I’ve made good progress coz the box says 5-6 yrs.
- Don’t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn’t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go to the bathroom now.
- oh crap! my friend’s status said “suicidal and standing on a cliff” So I Poked him. He’s not answering calls now!
- a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said… “don’t do it man, you will never hear the end of it!”
- ”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
- Kal ki socho” “Sar uttake jiyo”. Perfect. You look up and walk, you trip and fall, you die and get paid…Fantastic communication from HDFC.
- Dips was talking about some new weekly diet her colleague was doing, each day you eat just one thing. Phew! I tried eating just coconuts (for obvious reasons) and bananas one day. I don’t know what I was supposed to achieve (like lose or gain weight), but I sure can climb trees now!
- weekend almost here. please don’t drink and drive – it’s not only the cars that can be recalled by their maker!
- Google turned 12 this year. This means we only have one more year to use it before it turns into a teenager and won’t answer anything!
- For the Americans it was 9/11, for us Indians, 26/11, for me personally, its 5/11.
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