- We are conducting a workshop for corporates on deadlines. It will be held yesterday.
- yeah, it’s a mean world where Ironman is a superhero and Iron woman is a command.
- It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the eighth or the ninth.
- Dear customer service, first of all you should know that I’m typing this with my middle finger…
- While playing scrabble, if you use a double meaning word, shouldn’t you get double the points?
- This is amazing! Try saying the word “gullible” really really slowly. It sounds like “banana”
- got pulled over by a traffic cop, he said “Papers”, I replied “Scissors”. “Damn, you win” and he let me go.
- Damn! didn’t realise my 10 yr old nephew added me as a friend recently. By the way WTF means Welcome To Facebook.
- Why have I complicated my life like this? When I post something on my blog, it pulls the feed into NetworkedBlogs, posts it on my facebook profile, which tweets the same thing, which in turn posts it on my linkedIn profile. And somewhere in between all this, it’s also posting it on Google Buzz!!!
- Dear week, am dumping you for my all time sweetheart, the weekend. Wouldn’t say its you, but am in love with the weekend more than you. Time with you always seems longer. And with you, its stressful to meet the corporate world who always wants to collaborate, integrate, innovate and take it to the next level. Weekend, ah! short and sweeeeet! gaming, friends, parties, indulging in food and alcohol, time with family…
- Been a terrible Christmas. Tried making a hole in the ceiling for Santa Claus, forgetting that this is an apartment and there is someone else living upstairs.
- The tourist was a disappointment. The movie was so bad, a guy sitting next to me was on the phone complaining to someone about someone else’ terrible ringtone during the movie.
- Just checking, has anyone read ‘100 things before you die’? Is “YELL FOR HELP!!!”one of ’em?
- Signs of kids watching too much TV – They don’t wait for you to ask their name, they go “What’s my name? What’s my name?” and burst into to a frenzy dance sequence.
- Just rescued a kingfisher that was trapped in my refrigerator.
- People, stop forwarding the chain mails promising something good (and bad if you don’t) going to happen in your life. Have you ever seen a tombstone that says ‘I didnt forward the mail to 10 friends’ ?
- People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…about an hour ago • Like • Comment
- Three guys on a bike, guy riding it has helmet on the arm, phone between shoulder and speaking loudly and me with my obsessive compulsion to update this as am driving…is an awful lot of violations ey?
- Allright, now that we are done with the Women’s day, let’s concentrate on We men for the next 364 days.
- Behind every successful funny status msg, there is a Ctrl C and a Ctrl V.
- A coke employee wanting to take a break from a chat writes brrrrrrrrrrrrrb.
- For sale: Twenty-volume encyclopedia and a GPS device. Both in good condition. I don’t need it anymore, wife knows everything!
- I went to McDonald’s today and said “I’d like some fries”. The girl at the counter said, “Would you like some fries with that?”
- I used to date an artist back in college, the trouble was, she knew exactly where to draw the line!
- had the urge to smoke up today, called the guy who could arrange for some, got his answering machine and it said “If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key”…
- On a break from alcohol (again!!!) after my doc said my blood group has changed to UB +ve.
- India hands over 7th dossier to Pakistan. Pakistan’s paper recycling industry shows signs of recovery.
- You think Superman is from Kerala? Notice how he keeps saying “Appapanda way” all the time.
- the rate at which we add “and a half” to make everything sound bigger and better, am sure bedtime stories will soon start reading “Once upon a time and a half…”
- Social media for dummies:
- Facebook: Planning to drink beer!
- Twitter: Drinking beer #beer
- LinkedIn: I drink beer really well
- Quora: Why do I drink beer?
- Foursquare: This is where am drinking beer.
- YouTube: See how I drink beer.
Wow! This is hilarious stuff.